In the 1987 movie, The Princess Bride, the Impressive Clergyman said it best..."Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...
And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...
So tweasure your wuv."
Chris and I have been married 11 years (our 11th anniversary is actually this Saturday, the 21st) and dated 4 1/2 years prior to getting married. We are in a class together called ReEngage. It is a Christian based program that helps you to take a deep look at your marriage. It's designed to help strengthen your marriage by opening up with one another and remembering why you married your spouse in the first place. It helps you to biblically understand how God designed marriage and what He intended for every marriage to look like. ReEngage is for everyone...whether your marriage is failing and you're considering divorce or you have a great marriage but know it could be stronger and more focused on God. It doesn't fix your marriage, it is meant to help you biblically face difficult issues in a safe environment.
ReEngage starts off by everyone being together in a big group. There is a time of prayer, worship, & then a couple tells their story and how God has impacted their lives, their marriage. The stories are truly inspirational...some couples have come from the edges of divorce and others have faced trials of illness or temptations. But we are all sinners. We all have baggage. We all need God!
After the big group, couples go to an Open Group and eventually get put into a Closed Group when they are ready. The Open Group has discussions with facilitators to guide the conversations just as the Closed Groups do, but the Closed Groups also follow a 16 week workbook covering various topics that can, and usually do, seriously impact marriages. It is a safe place for spouses to share & learn from listening to others in confidence.
I met Chris 15 1/2 years ago. One month later, I fell in love with him and never looked back! He is the most amazingly strong and faithful man I know. From his faith that God will sustain him through his stomach issues (Gastroparesis & IBS) to his strength each day to get up and go to work or play with his girls even feeling nauseous, he has a love for Jesus and a love for life that shines through to everyone who meets him! He has a completely different outlook on life...Chris doesn't see his glass as 1/2 empty or 1/2 full, he just is thankful to have a glass! I love the song by NewSong "When God Made You"...God knew exactly who I needed to complete my broken self. He knew that Chris would help me in my journey and relationship with Christ! I'm humbled and blessed to be married to Chris.
All this to say, I love Chris with my whole heart! But we are sinners. We need reminders and encouragement just like everyone else. We are so enately different as a man and woman. There is a constant challenge for him to be the husband God calls him to be and for me to be the wife I'm called to be. In Ephesians 5:21-33, wives are called to be submissive to their husbands & to respect them. However, husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved His church. There is accountability for both men and women.
Our Life Group leader, Mason Randall, gave a great analogy this past Sunday on how men and women are different...how men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti. Paraphrased he said that men are like waffles because they are able to compartmentalize everything in their lives...just as syrup when poured into each individual hole of a waffle will stay in its hole without touching another one. They can go from this conversation, to this fight, to this situation and 'shut off' all other situations in their life when going on to yet another part of their life. Where as women are like spaghetti where every noodle is touching and intertwined. We (yes me too) tend to carry conversations over into fights, over into this situation and then on to this other part of our life. It is just typically how we are wired. One is not right or wrong, just different.
ReEngage has definitely helped us to look at our Waffle & Spaghetti selves and see how God made each of us unique and special. We are called to serve our spouse in a loving way while moving towards oneness with our spouse & our Lord! I wish I could say we now have all the answers, but no. Our journey towards a Godly marriage will begin truly when we finish our ReEngage lessons in 2 weeks. I pray we will take what we learned about God's will for our marriage & about each other and apply it to each blessed day we have together in this life. That is also my prayer for each and every one of you - may you find your oneness with your spouse and serve our Lord together! If you ever have the opportunity to attend ReEngage with or without your spouse, I encourage you to do so. I hope all of you have a blessed day and remember to listen to Giggles from Heaven!
Tammy Jones
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Fabulous!
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